WTF

am I doing? I cannot win a SNG right now. I am getting down far, but I just cannot get into the money. I am surfing the web, and doing other things to distract myself AND I just can't win. Wait a minute....I think I have found my problem.

We are off the the mountains this weekend. Some mountain biking/fishing/and of course poker. Hopefully it goes well.

I have heard that when you continue to do something that you know you should not do, it is because you get some short-term reward for doing it. This happens with me and heads-up poker. I know I should not do it, see my post from yesterday, yet I still do it. Last night after losing 2 SNG's, I decided to play a ring game, and I played it badly. So, to win back the money, I played a heads-up match. I quickly lost my buy-in. I was looking to win back what I lost, and I guess I know that I can get it back quickly HU. I ignore the fact that I can lose. Luckily for me, I won it all back later in the evening. Still, in the long-term if I want to be a successful card player, I must fight these tendencies.

Holy Crap, I suck

I can at times play brilliant poker. At other times I can play really bad poker. A few months back I was playing heads-up 2/4. I did not really have the skill or bankroll for it, but I did it anyway. I did it with the same feeling that I had when I played on-line Blackjack. I knew I shouldn't do it, but I did. Last night I sat down to play a little HU 2/4 against my better judgement. I then won 1 buy-in from my opponent who quickly reloaded. At this point I decided that even though I should just bank my winnings I could take more off this clown. Of course, I lost it all plus another 15 and then he left. I than proceeded to donk on a complete buy-in when I jumped in another game and was out classed. I managed to win most of it back with subsequent ring game play, but the lesson here is simple. DO NOT play heads up, unless it is cheap S-N-G's for practice. I now have a $30.00 hole to dig out of this week.

The weekend was pretty good, but I ate too poorly, drank too much, and generally did not do much. So much for the getting things done mentality. I need to really get on the stick.

I had a second interview last Thursday. It went well and the headhunter called to say that I did well. Again, I do not know if I really want the job, but the exploration is fun.

I finished last week up a few dollars. Not much really, but I was able to dig myself out of a hole by winning a $10 S-N-G. I have found my groove again in SNG's by just playing tight and not betting on coin-flips in the later rounds unless I have to.

I went to Philly for a bachelor party on Friday. It amazes me that I have been drinking for probably 23 years now, and yet I still cannot do it right. I still drink too much at times even though I feel like crap afterwards. I guess the price I pay is less than the reward I get. I don't know exactly what the reward is though.....

Life Tilt

I have hear that expression from Hammer Player. I feel that I am in life tilt now. I am not sure if I am playing poker the way that I am because I am in life tilt, or if I am in life tilt now because of the way I am playing poker. In any case here is what is happening, I sit down to play for an hour or so and end up losing a SNG because I am not paying attention to what I am doing. I then play another one and realize that it is past the time I wanted to go to bed. I rationalize that I can wake up on time to get to the gym. I then play ring games over my head and lose a chunck of money and then go to bed after midnight. Only I cannot sleep because I have just pissed away a portion of my bank roll. I then repeat it the next night. I cannot explain why I do this, but I must stop. I have made a list on backpack of my bad habits and I am going to concentrate on stopping said behaviors. I need more balance in my life.

I had a horrible run of cards last night. I managed to have a good night Saturday and was only about $4.00 down for the week, so I figured I would make it up last night. I then proceeded to get slapped in the face by the deck. I couldn't catch a card. To make matters worse, I played two S-N-G's simultaneously. Of course I know better, but for some reason, I ignored my own better judgement. I then proceeded to donk off 50 in cash games. I just sucked last night. Instead of going to sleep, I proceeded to play. By the time I went to bed, I was shell-shocked and unable to sleep, thus I also missed my workout this morning. I have to start climbing back this week and focus on having a positive week.

We got together with some neighbors last night to discuss the poker tournament for our neighborhood. We are going to have it at our community center. I think we have the details worked out, and I will be playing the part of the tournament director. Basically, we are going to have a 40 buy-in tournament with 20 going to the house. I figure that we can make 2-3 hundred there. We will also have side games which should raise a few bucks.

I played when I got home last night. It seems that I keep getting sucked out on during tournament play, but I am sure it only looks that way as we all get bad breaks. I just need to keep getting my money in with the best hand, and the results will take care of themselves.

I did not work out this morning. The combination of 3-in a row workouts, beer, and poker, I did not feel like waking up. I am going to try to squeeze in a run tonight, to the filthy fifty at the gym tomorrow and ride on Sunday.

I played a SNG last night and ended up 4th. Just out of the money. There were a few times that I had pocket pairs that I folded to a raise early on, and I am not sure I should have done so. Possibly I should have reraised, or called to see the flop. But it is essentially a coin-flip and I try to avoid those situations early on. On the hand that took me out, I called a raise with AK0 and flopped AXX with one spade. The original raiser bet and I went all-in. He had A9s, so I was way ahead. He caught runner runner spade to beat me with a flush. I was pissed until I realized that I wouldn't have even got that far if my A9c did not suck out on a AQ0 earlier. I guess that is just the way it goes.

Last night at our Council meeting, I proposed allowing night-riding for mountain bikes in one of our remote parks, and surprisingly I got support. I will write up some regs and it will be presented for a vote at the next council meeting.

We had a nice holiday weekend. I rode mountain bikes with a friend on Saturday. We went to the pool. We went to a cook-out at my brother-in-law's cottage and then went for a bike ride at Ohiopyle yesterday. So it was quite action-packed. I smoked some ribs that did not turn out too good. The wife and I also had a fire on Saturday night. I did not play much poker. Only Friday night.

This week I plan on focusing on GTD and seeing where that will take my life.